Patriots get ass kicked; I get more depressed

With the Patriots losing horribly at home today, 41-17, I got my sign. Things will never be the same for me. It's a metaphor that speaks volumes to me. The end of the Patriots dynasty comes with the end of all good things to me. Sure, they are only 2-2 and can easily bounce back, as can this relationship (metaphorically speaking), but it assures the way I feel all this week. A week that culminates in this. I'm still nervous and shaking as I think about what has become.

I think about this fat girl at the bowling alley last night with two kids and she has to be under 20 years old. Where would my life be with a kid about now? Probably even more crazy and disturbed than it already is. But I'd like a family soon. Not now, but soon. When I can get everything together that needs to be sorted. A steady, well-paying job. A nice girl that wants to bear my children. A home, outside of this place. Some day, all those things will come together. I guess my biggest worries right now are finding a better job than what I have, so I have some sort of insurance. The job isn't bad and given time, they might ask me to stick around for the long haul. But I can't depend on that.

I'm shaking so bad I can't even type. I guess I'll just let this fly.